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Subject:Good news and bad news.
Nuna humoro:crushedcrushed
Time:08:30 am
The good news is that it seems Madam Hooch, Professor Snape, and Luna are all doing much better. At least they're waking up, even if they have memory gaps and such. But everyone seems very optimistic about their complete or near-complete recoveries, so that is an enormous relief.

The bad news... well...

Everything else seems to be settling down a bit, but I'm very worried about Johnny. Even when Remus was alive, and I say this with the utmost fondness, she was a little bit... well... off. Remus was the only one who was able to keep her from going completely out of her mind. Perhaps it's the strain of being a Muggle writer in the wizarding world, and having her husband cheat on her, and her lover die, or perhaps it's just that all writers are a bit crazy. Whichever it is, it's getting worse and there seems to be nothing anyone can do. She talks to herself as though she was a separate entity, and tells us that people only she can see are following her and threatening her, and she is extremely paranoid and jittery, more so than usual. The slightest noise will set her off. She won't listen to anyone here if they try to help her and we obviously can't send her to St. Mungo's, and Merlin knows what those Muggles'll do to her if we try to send her to one of their mental hospitals.

I just don't know what to do anymore.
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Subject:Well, I went.
Nuna humoro:melancholymelancholy
Time:12:32 pm
The wake was... strange. Seamus Finnigan sang a lovely song for Remus. I saw Neville Longbottom about to go over to say something to Draco, but Draco turned away before he could say anything, and he was quite embarrassed. But, really, what could one say to him? How must he have felt while people told stories and wept for Remus, Lisa, Mandy, Pansy... but people pretended that one's own father didn't even exist? When people carefully looked away when someone mentioned how all four of them died? All I can say is... Draco. T_T

I really wish Antigone had gone, but I suppose she's right. It would have been extremely awkward for her, and I can't honestly say that she would have been very welcome for some people, given the circumstances. Still, I know she wanted to be there.

Also, Antigone: I told him you said hello and he stared at me blankly for a moment and said, "Oh! Malfoy!" His exact words.

*sighs* We'll find you someone, love. Someone who-- how shall I put this-- prefers kittens to puppies. ^_^
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Subject:Oh, dear.
Nuna humoro:friendly
Time:02:09 am
That poor gypsy child who is besotted with Terry just burst into tears when I announced that Terry was out of the Serious Ward and was only being kept overnight. I've just met her a few nights ago-- her name is Clopinesse, she says; exotic but very pretty nonetheless, something like the girl herself. She has such strong emotions that she keeps bottled up inside of her-- she's usually sullen and rather withdrawn but now I suppose her emotions just have to get out. I sensed her pain days ago and wondered how I could possibly help her, but to just have a good cry seemed to be the best way.

Poor child. It's so obvious how she adores Terry, and he seems either not to notice or to ignore it. He seems to be friends with her, and he's not stupid, so I'd have to say he's probably ignoring it. Perhaps her adoration intimidates him. I shall have to give her tips on how to land a man. It certainly worked for me; I see no reason why it should not work for her as well.
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Nuna muziko:People typing, checking for Seamus' updates
Subject:Percy is becoming nocturnal as well....
Nuna humoro:hopefulhopeful
Time:01:53 am
Percy and I haven't slept in days. I keep sneaking away from whatever I'm doing to check these journals to see Seamus' reports. I could just visit the Hospital Wing, but I haven't the time, I'm too busy. Isn't that just sad?

I'm sure Seamus doesn't know this (or perhaps he does; he's a very smart kid-- er, young man...), but his reports are pretty much all anyone is living for here. As soon as I find one of them, everyone who is just as busy as I am gathers around me while I read them aloud. Thank God, or whoever is in charge of all this, that Terry seems to be getting much better. He's now only being kept for overnight observation, but he was in serious condition for two days, so I'm considerably thankful. I'm going to make some time later to go see him, and Professor Snape and Luna too.

Seamus seems optimistic about the patients: he says the potion used for the Cruciatus effects is doing very well and that the HW is now only two rooms. I suppose whoever's been praying, it must be working. Thanks, whoever you are.

Speaking of such, I overheard Percy praying (or attempting to) earlier. He wasn't sure exactly how to go about it, and he ended up just kneeling by the couch. He didn't see me watching him from the kitchen, and he started mumbling and shifting around and saying things like, "Um... God? We, um, we need your help... er, assistance here, we... see, Hogwarts was attacked and um... well, I suppose you know what happened, being God and all, but... oh, dear, I hope I didn't sound blasphemous or contentious or... oh-- GodblessmyfamilyandmyfriendsandHogwartsamen!!!"

My dear, dear Percy. I'm so proud of him. God protect him.
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Subject:I wish I could help, Ginny. I really wish I could.
Nuna humoro:moved
Time:07:19 am
Professor Snape and Loonylove (you don't think she'd mind if I called her that, Ginny?) are still in critical condition. Terry's still in serious condition, and I just realized that Colin Creevey was somewhere on the list yesterday and isn't there today, so I can only hope he was released.

I feel for Ginny Weasley. I truly do. This child-- or rather, young woman-- has been through so much: the loss of one of her brothers and the loss of another one's sanity, not to mention many of her close friends were hurt or killed in the attack. Understandably, she does not wish to lose another dear friend. Ginny, love, I would help if I possibly could, but the truth of the matter is that I have never been a religious woman. Percy is no help as he is agnostic (sorry, Perce), but I'm sure God would listen to him. I don't think that God would listen to me though.

But I will be certain to pass the message on, Ginny, and please let me know if there is anything, anything at all, that I can do.
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Nuna muziko:I can't seem to stop crying and I can't find Percy.
Subject:I am not a fighter, but I am rapidly having to become one.
Nuna humoro:worriedworried
Time:05:45 am
I am at Hogwarts right now, taking a very short break as I am about to drop from exhaustion and shock; nevertheless, I shall be back to work in no less than five minutes.

I went to see Draco straight away, as Percy dashed off to comfort a group of distraught Hufflepuffs and take charge-- he's always been a marvelous leader.

Draco didn't recognize me for a moment, and then he stared at me sort of dazedly and mumbled, "Shouldn't you be off swimming with dolphins, Zora filth?"

Tears suddenly came to my eyes, and I embraced the poor boy, crying yet again. That's my Draco.

He actually hugged me back, a little weakly though, but that's all right because for a moment we weren't a boy who had lost everything and a girl who felt guilty for not losing everything. We were just one person, sharing the same feelings, the same grief, the same doubt...

Wait. I've just seen Seamus' list. This cannot be possible. Professor Snape is in critical condition, and so is dear Loony. If anything happens to them I will feel responsible-- I don't know why, but I will. Someone tell me where they are. I have to go to them. I must be able to to do something for them, anything.

I've only one more friend on that list-- I don't know or only know by reputation everyone else.


Terry Boot.

He's in serious condition, so of course there's hope, but things happen. Remus shouldn't have died-- he was young (ish...) strong, brilliant... Lisa was brave and smart... And Pansy, too. She had friends and family that loved her, she had plans... If Professor Snape, or Luna, or Merlin forbid Terry should die as well, I don't know how I could cope.

Just the other day Terry was putting his makeup on me. Bloodred lipstick and his prized black glitter eyeliner. He was laughing at me, laughing at how stupid I looked, and I said I didn't care because thanks to him my face looked like the bleeding night sky, and he stopped and said I had a poet's soul.

Just the other day we were in Hogsmeade, buying candy from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, him telling me about his time in New Orleans and trying to snog Bloody Mary, while simultaneously trying to pocket a Canary Cream, me trying to imagine this pale, dark-souled boy among other pale dark-souled individuals, but he had a spark inside of him. He wasn't like any of the others who were there. I know this even though I have never been to New Orleans and only know about if from stories from Terry, but he has a mischievous streak and a beautiful artistic soul, and for him to say I had a poet's soul was high praise indeed.

Oh, please, God, and every other deity known to man and Zora, please don't let anything happen to Terry.

Or anyone else on that list. Too many already have died. How many more must suffer???
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Subject:I am utterly useless.
Nuna humoro:devastated
Time:02:00 am
Percy was just informed a few hours ago of what had happened at Hogwarts, and, to give him credit, he WAS crying, even though he was mostly just in shock. I say this because I have heard it said that Percy is heartless and I can tell you that this is cruel and absolutely untrue.

I myself haven't stopped crying yet.

Zora are born with an innate sense of empathy. We feel every other creature's emotions, whether they be Zora, human, animal, plant... Now I am overwhelmed with my friends' grief and my heart is shattered and weeps for you as well.

To all who have passed on: We will miss you all dearly, and honor your memories. I did not know everyone who was killed, but I knew enough of them.

Draco, no one will ever know what I feel for you right now. We were never very close friends, but we were friends still, and I still remember all that we've talked about. Your overwhelming grief crushes my spirit as well as yours. I say this and it is true: I feel your pain, and am here.

I knew others who have now moved on, but the anguish of those left behind is too much right now. I can't say anything to them in this state.

If only I had been there. I should have been there. I had no reason to, of course, but maybe if I had been there, I could have helped some people, saved lives that should still exist, have eased others' burdens.... I feel so horrible and useless, utterly useless right now, so low I feel I will sink through the floor. I feel as though I shouldn't even be saying anything about what's happened; as I did not experience it, only through secondhand emotions, I do not feel I have the right to grieve. I should not be sitting here weeping and writing this: I should be at Hogwarts, doing what I should have done long ago. Percy will come too; he tells me he feels useless too.

Please do not pester him about work now; he is truly grieving as well, even if it is harder to tell. His work, for him, is a deterrent from his pain. But he is taking a break now to come with me.

My first entry should have been about the new kitten I just got and taunting the seventh years about NEWTS. It should not have been a eulogy.

But I suppose some things we cannot help.

Ah, screw that. I'm going to help.
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